Erin Ptah (![[personal profile]](http://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ptahrrific) wrote2011-03-09 22:04
ptahrrific) wrote2011-03-09 22:04
Fake News: My Little Pony
Title: My Little Pony
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.
Neglected Commentfic Roundup Week continues with something recent:kribban picked "Fighting" from a prompt table, and I decided to make something fluffy out of it. (Literally.)
Takes place in the Senateverse.
As security concerns go, having the mundane details of your schedule for the next fortnight leaked to the press was not high on Senator Stewart's (D-NY) list. Sure, if he had been secretly banging hookers at the Sheraton every Thursday, it might have been a problem, but so far the only grist the media had been able to wring from it was the two-hour spa treatment he had scheduled at the end of the week. All he had to do was fire the troublemaking intern and ride out the jokes from the late-night comedy circuit, and it would be over.
Or so he thought. He had, of course, forgotten one very important factor.
"JON."
"How did you get in here?" demanded Jon, as Senator Colbert (R-SC) half-strode, half-sashayed into his office. "As my staff and everyone who watches the morning news knows, you don't have an appointment with me right now."
"Oh, them." Stephen flicked his hand as if the air had some lint that needed brushing off. "I just said I had to see you immediately, and they didn't have a high enough security clearance to know why."
Jon made a mental note to give his staff a lecture on Colbert-deflecting techniques. "Whatever it is, it had better be quick. And not about that spa thing. I have a labor dispute to mediate that morning and I'm talking to Bill O'Reilly in the evening; I need to fit in some me time."
"Of course I'm not talking about the spa thing. You want to be properly exfoliated for Papa Bear. No, I'm talking about something truly threatening. Does 'Tuesday the twenty-second, 3:30 PM' ring any bells?"
"Uh, no, Stephen, it doesn't. That's why I have people who handle my schedule for me."
"Well, look it up!"
He crossed his arms and began tapping his foot on the carpet. When it became clear that he wasn't going anywhere, Jon sighed, opened his laptop, debated trying to remember which of the icons was his scheduling software, then sighed and opened WikiLeaks.
"It looks like I'm getting a haircut," he said at last.
"A haircut!" echoed Stephen, at twice the volume and several dozen times the outrage.
"That's right. What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong with—? What's wrong with that?" spluttered Stephen, voice rising to a veritable squawk of fury. "Jon, feel this! Feel this!"
Two strides and a blink later, he was leaning over the desk, fingertips brushing Jon's temples as they plunged into his hair and ran oh-so-slowly through it.
"You see?" he demanded, over Jon's speechlessness. "Your hair right now is luscious! It is the perfect length for running things through! Hands...combs...uh, other hands...the point is, this is exactly the wrong time to have your magnificent mane sheared off!"
"'Mane'?" echoed Jon. "You know there will only ever be one Lion of the Senate, right?"
"You can be the pony of the Senate!" cried Stephen, hands now squishing Jon's cheeks together. "And anyway that is not the point!"
All furry animals aside, Jon realized he had to shake out of Stephen's grip before his face froze in permanent fish-lips. "All right, all right!" he groaned, prying himself away. "I'll cancel the appointment. But I have to get one eventually, because this stuff keeps growing, you know? How long should I put it off?"
Stephen mellowed in an instant. "Two weeks," he said, after some serious consideration. "You don't want to end up looking like a hippie."
"Yes, I can see how that would be a problem," deadpanned Jon. "All right. Two weeks. And..." He pointed a finger at Stephen, commanding attention. "Right before your next haircut, I get to run my hands through your hair."
The other senator's eyes widened. "D-deal," he stammered, inching unsubtly towards the door. "Not right now, though! When it happens! Which I'm sure will be a very busy day. Have your people call my people, and we'll definitely, probably, set up an appointment."
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: "Stephen", Jon
Disclaimer: Characters belong to the Report. Names of real people are used in a fictitious context, and all dialogue, actions, and content are products of the author's imagination only.
Neglected Commentfic Roundup Week continues with something recent:
kribban picked "Fighting" from a prompt table, and I decided to make something fluffy out of it. (Literally.)Takes place in the Senateverse.
As security concerns go, having the mundane details of your schedule for the next fortnight leaked to the press was not high on Senator Stewart's (D-NY) list. Sure, if he had been secretly banging hookers at the Sheraton every Thursday, it might have been a problem, but so far the only grist the media had been able to wring from it was the two-hour spa treatment he had scheduled at the end of the week. All he had to do was fire the troublemaking intern and ride out the jokes from the late-night comedy circuit, and it would be over.
Or so he thought. He had, of course, forgotten one very important factor.
"JON."
"How did you get in here?" demanded Jon, as Senator Colbert (R-SC) half-strode, half-sashayed into his office. "As my staff and everyone who watches the morning news knows, you don't have an appointment with me right now."
"Oh, them." Stephen flicked his hand as if the air had some lint that needed brushing off. "I just said I had to see you immediately, and they didn't have a high enough security clearance to know why."
Jon made a mental note to give his staff a lecture on Colbert-deflecting techniques. "Whatever it is, it had better be quick. And not about that spa thing. I have a labor dispute to mediate that morning and I'm talking to Bill O'Reilly in the evening; I need to fit in some me time."
"Of course I'm not talking about the spa thing. You want to be properly exfoliated for Papa Bear. No, I'm talking about something truly threatening. Does 'Tuesday the twenty-second, 3:30 PM' ring any bells?"
"Uh, no, Stephen, it doesn't. That's why I have people who handle my schedule for me."
"Well, look it up!"
He crossed his arms and began tapping his foot on the carpet. When it became clear that he wasn't going anywhere, Jon sighed, opened his laptop, debated trying to remember which of the icons was his scheduling software, then sighed and opened WikiLeaks.
"It looks like I'm getting a haircut," he said at last.
"A haircut!" echoed Stephen, at twice the volume and several dozen times the outrage.
"That's right. What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong with—? What's wrong with that?" spluttered Stephen, voice rising to a veritable squawk of fury. "Jon, feel this! Feel this!"
Two strides and a blink later, he was leaning over the desk, fingertips brushing Jon's temples as they plunged into his hair and ran oh-so-slowly through it.
"You see?" he demanded, over Jon's speechlessness. "Your hair right now is luscious! It is the perfect length for running things through! Hands...combs...uh, other hands...the point is, this is exactly the wrong time to have your magnificent mane sheared off!"
"'Mane'?" echoed Jon. "You know there will only ever be one Lion of the Senate, right?"
"You can be the pony of the Senate!" cried Stephen, hands now squishing Jon's cheeks together. "And anyway that is not the point!"
All furry animals aside, Jon realized he had to shake out of Stephen's grip before his face froze in permanent fish-lips. "All right, all right!" he groaned, prying himself away. "I'll cancel the appointment. But I have to get one eventually, because this stuff keeps growing, you know? How long should I put it off?"
Stephen mellowed in an instant. "Two weeks," he said, after some serious consideration. "You don't want to end up looking like a hippie."
"Yes, I can see how that would be a problem," deadpanned Jon. "All right. Two weeks. And..." He pointed a finger at Stephen, commanding attention. "Right before your next haircut, I get to run my hands through your hair."
The other senator's eyes widened. "D-deal," he stammered, inching unsubtly towards the door. "Not right now, though! When it happens! Which I'm sure will be a very busy day. Have your people call my people, and we'll definitely, probably, set up an appointment."
<3
Re: <3
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-03-13 16:28 (UTC)(link)no subject
In the future, please sign in with OpenID, or sign your comments =)
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-07-15 15:39 (UTC)(link)no subject
(In the future, please get an account, sign in with OpenID, or sign your posts ^_^)
funny randomness
(Anonymous) 2012-01-05 10:10 (UTC)(link)-Nathaniel
sinshiro@live.com
Re: funny randomness